Mini-Skirts and Freedom of dressing (Decency)....

If we cant give people freedom for the sake of the principle, then lets at least give them freedom for the sake of our own selfish ends.

Giving people freedom to dress in whatever way they see fit is actually very good for everybody; even Christians, "African Culture people", and dare I say ..... Muslims. Let me explain:

For the last few weeks there have been several incidents in Nairobi where women get roughed up, and even stripped naked ....... reason being, they were dressed "indecently".

Now, am a very liberal guy. But I actually do understand what these guys are trying to say:

Staring at boobs and thighs in the middle of the day when you are trying to get stuff done is quite distracting.

Are we supposed to be horny 24/7?

But here is what am thinking; the people who publicly humiliated "indecent" women not only expressed themselves in a poor way, but they actually ended up depriving themselves of a very valuable resource. And by resource I don't mean naked thighs ..... I mean data/ information.

Data? What data?

"Personality type" data, and "Psychological status" data ...... Let me clarify:

Christians and Muslims want to go to heaven. And follower of "African culture" want to live in a virgin land where people live partly like animals (is that what African Culture is?). Anyway, either way in the equation, there is a utopia where people live happily ever after.

But wait! There is a catch in all the utopias concept! Everyone has to go through "Judgement" before they can enter heaven. Judgement  is meant to weed out "undesirables". And how are these undesirable identified? ..... through their "deeds". Which basically translates into "people get judged based on their actions, plus the effects of their actions".

A lawyer would point out an interesting fact: ..... before you get judged, you  must have at least ACTED at one time in an HONEST way that can be used to gauge who you are. No action means inability to judge. No one can judge someone who has done completely nothing; good or bad ...... I guess its the reason "God" invented "freewill". And its also the reason "children" get to have a free pass to heaven (based on "Holy books").

Anyway. This brings me to the reason am writing this:

Just like "God", we humans need DATA for us to be able to judge fellow humans......... And for us to be able to judge people, we would need them to act in an "honest" manner that is true to their "basic nature" or their current state of mind. .......We need people to have freedom to reveal who they are, and thereafter we can make decisions using "good data".

And why would we want to be judging people? ....... A better question would be, why not? ..... We judge people so we can know who to become friends with, who to marry and procreate with, who has the necessary skills to deliver on particular tasks, and also just to build a mental database of who is who ..... for our stereotyping needs. Judging people is built into our basic nature. We cant help it. I guess it is one of those ways in which we are in the image of God.

Anyway, back to the point: to make judgement we need accurate information.

If we imposed one dress-code, and speech-code to everyone, then everyone would look the same and talk the same. Thus everyone would be like a chameleon; blending into the background and not revealing their true colors. Now how would society benefit from that? A killer would look and talk exactly like a priest. A conman would look exactly like a real leader/ businessman. Everyone would look the same and the whole system would turn to shit as it ate itself from inside out, ....... seeing as it would be impossible to know who is who, and what goes where.

Now what about a "free" society where women are allowed to wear mini-skirts, make-up, and talk shit to their heart's content. Would it be a horrible society? .... I don't know.... What I know is that it would be a honest society where we can easily know who is who, and what goes where.

Example: You are a promiscuous guy looking for a one night stand. Your version of heaven involves having sex with seven young women. .......What to do? ...... Easy! ..... spot the scantily dressed women with excess make-up, who are begging for attention from men. Give them strategic attention, and in return you get sex ..... heaven!

What if you are a "serious" guy who likes "serious" women? ...... What to do?!..... Easy! ....... keep an eye out for women who have at least two thirds of their bodies covered; including neck, elbows, thighs and knees (meaning: protective of self, not a supporter of full disclosure), with clean+ironed clothes of fashion that is at least 40yrs back. Plus hair would be all natural - clean and combed/ trimmed; non of that purchased Indian hair or horses tails ...... you would sit with her, talk philosophy, business, and any other important shit .......perhaps at some point she would bend over (in a dark bedroom at night), you would deposit some sperms into her for purposes of procreation (preferably after you sign a document proclaiming that you own one another, forever)....... heaven!

As you can see there are different versions of heaven (nobody actually knows the details of the "one true heaven"), and most of them are actually capable of co-existing side by side. And people could actually be able to walk back and forth between one heaven and another.

In the end "bad apples" like killers, liars, thieves, rapists, ET c end up showing their true colors and we can identify them and act accordingly.

In the end even if that mini-skirt offends you ..... you should just learn to give it a blind eye ..... and only see people dressed in whatever way you want. ...... as a matter of fact our senses normally absorb lots of information on a second-by-second basis, but we only normally process a tiny fraction of the data based on our needs and mindsets at the moment.

In the end you will find that you will mostly end up with people who behave in accordance with your "heaven" ....... rather than picking wolf in sheep skin 80% of the time (which is what would happen in a pretend, "lets force everyone to be the same" society).

The FREEDOM of that lady to wear that mini-skirt then becomes your tool to build your heaven! Amazing how it all fits together?!

Besides if ever you get super horny and want to cross to the other side, they would be there. All you need is to change your mindset and viola! Another heaven opens up ...... you can engage in debauchery with honest people in that heaven, and when you get tired you just go back to your "home heaven" (if they will accept you back - forgiveness!).

It all works together quite nicely, if only we can leave "it" alone.

So, the point is: Imposing your narrow standards on people not only harms other people, but also harms you. Live and let live, and let everyone be honest to themselves. Diversity is a blessing, and maybe one day you would need the type of person that the other side represents.

Even peaceful countries need a few killers to protect them from enemies. Even though we may not want killers to do "their thing" on a daily basis near where we stay with our loved ones. But if we kill all killers, then who will kill for us when we need a killer?

Let the ladies who want mini-skirts wear them, and let the bui-bui wearers also be. Let everyone be honest, so we can know who is who, and who goes where.

If you cant respect the lady for who she is at least respect her for your own selfish needs. Her personality traits are most definitely good for something, even if you don't know what that usefulness may be at the time. After all, her genes survived through the ages for a reason (or "God" created her that way for a reason - so don't change God's work).

Lets all be honest. Live and let live.

The antelope prayer ...

An antelope complaining about the behavior of a leopard, is just wasting time. The leopard is still a leopard .... and it will still do what leopards do!!!

Better to find ways to make the leopard change its behaviour by reducing the rewards, or increasing the risk. Then the leopard would be forced to change.

No pain, no gain? ..... I dont like pain!

"Nothing good comes without sacrifice" ....

WRONG!!!! (What if you die right after the "sacrifice" part?!)

In the last 5yrs I have discovered that you don't have to be sad first before you can be happy.

Whenever you do things that make you sad, and you have to struggle ...... you are probably doing something wrong!

My key is planning, and making slow but sure steps towards the goal ......EVERYDAY SINGLE DAY.

And believe me, there is nothing more pleasurable than when a good plan is coming together.

Sacrifice not required, just knowledge and a good plan.

Also, money is never the objective ....... the important things in my book are "FACTORS OF RESULTS"

Factors of results are anything that gets you closer to your objective: the biggest one being high quality individuals ........ meaning picking associations carefully (ditching some friends), and having long term friends based on trust.

Don't judge people based on what they say or what they do. ...... Judge based on the RESULTS of their action.

Other factors include:

- Information/ knowledge (free from internet).
- Reputation (think before talking/ moving ...... be the master of your public image, don't let it "just happen")
- A rent-less "headquarters" (join Nyumba2030 or other such org)
- And finally some money to purchase "materials" (if you can get "materials" without using money, e.g. inheritance, then the better!)

Jubilee coalition vs CORD coalition ...... again ...

Raila supporters are celebrating the failure by govt to deliver laptops to class 1 pupils.

While the merits of providing laptops to a starving population can be debated, some part of me wishes this project would have succeeded.

A flood of laptops would have had some effect in the minds of the youth of Kenya.

Laptop are still viewed as luxury items, and they are not! In the information age a computing device is as essential as oxygen ....

Like a lion that has to adapt to the jungle by developing teeth, claws, and quick muscles, ...... so a child in 2014 must adapt by having a laptop/ smartphone.

Otherwise they will starve anyways, just like a lion that cant hunt.

The recipe for creating God:

Some improbable event occurs, then one person starts to suspect some "sinister forces" (since an understanding of the underlying system is missing).

Another person will then personify those sinister forces and give them a name (a new proper noun/ pronoun comes into existence).

A third person hears a conversation between the first two people .....; he becomes scared shitless, and starts to "spread the word" .....

The first two people "hear the gospel" and are amazed since "they also thought the same thing" (self fulfilling prophecy).

Before you know it a religion is created, with the "named force" as its god.

And its all fueled by fear, so it grows very rapidly.

All "funny" and improbable events are henceforth attributed to the named force/ being.

Non-believers are quickly branded agents of the "dark side" (and nobody wants that!).

Happy Sunday friends! ("Sun" day?!)


**********

So now we have many "gods" created by people from all over the place ....... but how about "The One True God"?:

Ones many gods are created, one of them will emerge as the strongest (basically the one supported by the most violent people)...

So, then "The One True God" is created.

Evil is dangerous! (Short term gain, long term trouble)

EVIL IS LIKE AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE; when you encounter it, you can easily get infected and then pass it on.

For example when you are driving on the highway and a matatu driver cuts into your lane. He has basically defecated into your brain.

What happens next is that your brain starts to stink, and 10 minutes later you cut into some other driver's lane. And now you have thrown faeces into that driver's brain!

The chain reaction continues, and before you know it, the whole city has shit heads driving in the highways!

IN LIFE YOU MUST DEFEND YOUR BRAIN AT ALL COSTS. Even more than your body.

Whenever you encounter evil, you must quickly RESET your brain. Inoculate yourself (ask me how).

Don't get infected, and don't pass it on.

THE BRAIN IS THE BATTLEFIELD OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE.

Good morning, and good day to you all .........


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I know that line about "spiritual warfare" looks spooky, but here is the thought behind it:

Believe it or not physical violence is on the decline.

But ironically, the human need to influence others (for subjugation, influence decision making, "make like oneself", sizing-up, and all other mostly nefarious purposes) is actually increasing.

So how do people conduct war and violence in 2014 when they cant use overt weapons? ........ mostly through what  I  call "negative emotional transference" and the "uncontrolled battle of wills".

For example, your boss wants you to be at your desk at 8am  sharp even if he knows work truly begins at 11am (imposing her will).

In the example of the road; a person who has "self-esteem issues" or has just been frustrated by a more powerful person seeks to show the world that he is "important" - and he does so by frustrating anyone he meets ..... and engaging in behaviors meant to bring negative emotional states (especially on other motorists, who are perceived as "threats" - have money).

The seduction rituals use this as a primary tool. So do individuals who want to sow seeds of discord between friends/ lovers/ family.

Or, imagine how Americans (propaganda) and Jews (religion) have a big chunk of the planet "by the balls"!

Anyway, bottom line is that people largely fight through destabilizing other people's emotional balance. And if a person is not aware (which is usually the case), they normally fall victim ....... and then pass the negativity on.

This is the basic mechanism that witchcraft uses, in conjunction with select chemicals (the Luo call it "juok").

So, guard your brain from useless influences. And there are many ways to do this; the easiest being ........ to have a clear "purpose/ objective" at all times and ignoring stimuli that don't move you towards the objective

Acknowledge positive forces, ignore negating forces - unless the negating force compels you to fight. And even then, make the fight quick and "deadly" so that it doesn't consume your time, then quickly "reset" your mind and get back on track.

Long story short: people focus on protecting their bodies, when the truth is that if a person can control your mind ....... then your body really has no choice but to "play ball"!!!

Most Politicians are actually aware of these mechanisms!

The Rich vs. The Poor .....

The rich want a controllable labor force to work inside their money making systems, the poor want to regain control of their life and end the discomfort of uncertainty.

A poor person waiting for a rich person to solve his problem is like a rabbit waiting for a lion to bring for it some juicy vegetables!

The rabbit may imagine that the lion should care about its well being, but the truth of the matter is that the lion only cares about a fat piece of meat - Where the rabbit gets its vegetables from is not really a primary concern for the lion. Because the lion can also get meat from antelopes!

Some lions may be intelligent enough to plant some vegetables so that rabbits hang around them! But that doesn't change the fact that the lion only cares about a fat piece of meat - the vegetable farm would in this case be just a way for the lion to save energy chasing the rabbit up and down!

Moral: If you want a change in your life, you must make the change - yourself; don't wait for rich people with "the power" to make the change for you. Their priorities may not be the same as yours.


**********

Can "the poor" fight "the rich" and win? ...... I THINK NOT!!!

The rich are by definition people who are really (really!) good at getting what they want.

In turn, the poor are generally people who don't know how to get what they want. And they wait for things to be handed to them, AND TERMS TO BE DEFINED FOR THEM.

So, don't fight the rich. JUST BECOME RICH!!!!

Good begets more good

People become what you imagine them to be. If you imagine devils, you get devils. If you imagine angels, you get angels.

Yesterday I lost my brand new smartphone at a Nakumatt. I had a suspect in mind, but no evidence to confront him. And shouting would have just made me look like a mad man.

So together with a manager and head of security, I made a general appeal. I explained the significance of the phone to my work, promised no blow back, and even offered a reward. Then I left and came back home and left it in the Nakumatt staff hands. I got a call today, and I have the phone back - all intact. (And yet it had already been switched off immediately it got lost - a sign that it is "gone").

At the same time yesterday, my supplier let me take equipment worth 150,000/= without question. I had promised to pay immediately my customer paid.

I thought he would refuse, but he didn't. On my way out, I asked him, "what if I walk out and disappear?" He answered,  "I just know you wont, and I have actually never done this before!"

I was amazed at the level of faith he had put in me. And I suddenly got thirst to want to continue working with him more in future . I was paid today, and guess where my first stop was! I just couldn't disappoint the guy.

Good begets more good. And if you imagine you are soo clever and can outwit people, they pick up the "vibe" and respond in kind. They treat you like the hyena that you are.

Am thankful for getting my phone and data back!!!

It starts with you ...... DON'T BE EVIL!!!

The illusion of dictatorship and "power":

The vast majority of humans seek power and status. We seek to have control over other men, over other lifeforms, and other forms of matter and energy. But just like a child learns to outgrow childish things, the more a person matures and even taste (and loses) power/ status, the more the person would realize that its all an illusion.

"Ruling the world" is an impossible goal to achieve. Even if a person managed to put every single individual under their control for a particular moment, they would then immediately have to begin to cede that control. Firstly to relatives, friends and loved ones whom he may want to "enjoy" the power with. Then to the "high skill" individuals who have to help him maintain control over the various systems. Then to the various political and religious establishments that help him maintain control over the general human resource.

The "inner circle" who have been given a piece of control/ power then proceed to share it further, and before you know it there is no control. And we are all right back where we started.

Truth is that control is an illusion. The only way the system works is together. The "leader" who seeks to rule using force or fear faces eternal resistance, while the "leader" who uses an inclusive model finds that the whole universe conspires to make him successful.

In 2014 we are blessed with  "The Internet".

The internet is a blessing because it negates the biggest possible source of power; ignorance of the masses.

The closest a man can come to total control is by using invisible psychological handcuffs upon man's brains - and it has already been tried by Kings, Bankers and religious priests. If it didn't work, then modern technology (The Internet) virtually guarantees that it will never work. This is because of the constant movement of ideas back and forth.

Population is not a curse, it is a blessing to be harnessed. It helps with the evolution of and selection of genes is numerous combinations. And diversity is not something to be fought, for it guarantees that we will have different perspectives, and people to fill different situations.

The key is "together". We have to embrace the fact that all life is of worth. And all humans must be given the opportunity to determine their own destiny.

Paying Dowry: Is it one of the backward dinosaur traditions that needs to die?

(Does technology have an impact on human behavior and “culture”?)

This is 2014! Look around Kenyans! The world has changed. I am 31yrs old, and I can say this: This world is not the same as the world that my grandparents lived in, neither is it even the same as my young parents grew up in. For example, I have a 5 inch Android phone with internet connection and access to something called “Google”. Anyone who thinks that that’s an oversimplification should take a minute and digest the meaning and implications of access to Google on a 5 inch high definition screen (where I am typing this). Just think for a minute. DOES TECHNOLOGY HAVE AN IMPACT ON CULTURE?

Okay, lets me not get carried away with the technology argument this early. Let’s stick with what’s on the title: DOWRY AND BRIDE PRICE.

Per my definition, and the definitions I will use for this post, dowry and bride price are both “payments” made during the signing of a marriage contract. (Yes, I said payment ….. Don’t give me none of that “appreciation/ friendship/ symbolic gesture” politically correct crap … these things are payments!).

Technically, dowry is paid by the woman to the man’s family (kind of like a send-off gift given to the woman to start her family). And bride price is paid by the man to the woman’s family (for reasons that we are about to explore). But for Kenyan purposes, Dowry is paid by the man to the woman’s family and bride price does not exist.

So …. The big question is this. Why do men make the payment?

The answer is actually very simple: Because of pressure from society to conform to a behavior pattern (tradition) whose origin no one has ever thought to dig up. TRADITION IS THE REASON DOWRY IS PAID IN KENYA.

Traditions are just a set of behavior patterns that are deemed necessary by a given society for the sake of their peace, stability and progress. TRADITIONS ARE VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE SURVIVAL OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE.

But here is another big questions: Can traditions change?

I am getting carried away again, so let me get focused.

BTW, let me say this before I go far … These arguments am putting forward affect me directly. I am a first born son with three younger sisters all in their twenties!!! Historically I would celebrate, since all my sisters are highly educated and have shown themselves to be very intelligent. I would celebrate because for each one of them I would be getting a lot of cows, money and gifts. I say “me” and not my parents because historically, since I am the eldest and an only son, the task of negotiations (and intimidating the suitors) would have been delegated to me …. But I am no hyena, and I am not celebrating.

Here’s why:

Origin of Dowry:

Different people have different theories why they pay their dowries, but here is what I believe to be the “real” reason why people pay dowry: AS A CONSOLATION PRICE (OR APPRECITION) TO THE FAMILY OF THE LADY FOR THE INVESTMENT THEY MADE WHILE RAISING THEIR DAUGHTER. Also, as a demonstration by the man that he has the resources to start a family (the lady wont starve).

But why did people feel the need to “console”/ “appreciate” the woman’s family. And why did men feel the need to show that they are “worthy” and that their wife won’t starve.

The short answer is this: POOR TRANSPORT AND COMMUNICATION INFRASTRUCTURE.

The long answer touches on the following:

• ·         Transport and communication technology.

• ·         Anatomy and physiology of women (Contraceptive technologies).

• ·         Specialization in the family

• ·         The need to breakaway and form once own “domain”.

1.       1. Transport and Communication technologies:

We can hate the “white man” all we want but the truth is that we didn’t even have bicycles before we were colonized. I guess were living in “paradise” and the PRESSURE to invent complex transport system did not exist. The weather in Kenya never really goes to extremes, and the most densely populated areas have natural food all year round – food growing by itself just stone-throws away from the front steps of the house. Must have been great! (But don’t even try to take me back there, I love my electricity!!!)

The reality is that our great grand parents lived in a society where the sole means of transportation were the human legs. Meaning that the average person probably never went further than a few kilometers from where they lived – mostly they walked for just a few hour to look for basic resources (just enough to be able to come back home in the evening). People lived 90% of their lives within a 10Km radius.

Fast forward to 2014. The Boeing 787 exists, and so does Airbus A380! The whole world is less than a day away.  I could go to Uganda and back in less time than my great grandmother took to fetch water for cooking breakfast! Amazing right?

What this mean in our context is that in the old times if someone relocated say 50Km, they would be very unlikely to go back where they came from. And as we all know, women usually relocate to men’s houses upon marriage (another tradition that needs to be looked into).

So, a man marries a woman and moves with her Kilometers away (people who live in close proximity were mostly relatives and thus not allowed to marry) making it impossible for the woman to visit her genetic family often. She had to move to a strange land where she had never been, and reconfigure her whole mind to a new reality in a place where she was a foreigner - with no immediate of hope of return.

This was very distressing to the woman and to the family that raised her. You see if you gave birth to a daughter, it was inevitable that she was going to be “taken” immediately her boobs showed up (seriously, women got married just immediately they got breasts and wide hips – teenage basically). I guess this is the reason that poor families never really bothered to “truly” invest in the education and development of girl children – they were inevitably going to be the “properties” of strangers living Kilometers away.

So dowry in this regard was a “refund” for any investments made during the upbringing of the girl child. The more investments made, the higher the “refund” demanded – and that is the reason there were complex negotiations that were aimed at trying to figure out the investment made by the parents of the child and THE ACTUAL VALUE OF THE WOMAN.

In addition to distance and transport difficulty there was the problem of lack of CONDOMS et al …

2.     2. Anatomy and physiology of women (Contraceptive technologies).

The moment the lady arrived in her new home there would be SEX galore. The husband would begin an almost ritual routine of fucking the woman senseless, daily. I use the word “fucking” (as opposed to “making love” or “conjugation” because the action was more like a sport/ required ritual than an emotional and “beautiful” act. The woman was required to scream, bleed ET c

The man was required to do this, or he would totally lose respect if he didn’t. The thing to not here (that we take for granted these days) is that THERE WERE NO CONDOMS. Ilikuwa nyama kwa nyama.

Needless to say most women got pregnant within 30days of arriving. And after they gave birth (and survived that highly hazardous process), it may have taken them perhaps 6 months (max) to recover. After which they were made pregnant again. And the wheels on the bus go round and round.

Women were basically pregnant throughout their lives!!! (WOMEN – BE THANKFUL THAT YOU LIVE IN 2014!). And many just died during child birth due to infections. (Basically it’s the reason women with roomy hips were favored by evolution – they tended to survive one birth after the other!).

This whole system made it even more difficult (near impossible) for women to travel back home regardless of circumstances. They were completely grounded in their new home.

3.       3. Specialization in the family

Everyone can’t do everything. We are all built little different. Women vs. Men even more so.

You see women not only have a womb, they also have breasts. Meaning that they not only carry children for nine months, but once the child is born it depends on the mother for everything in the first part of its existence.

This made it inevitable that women ended up as the people who had to stay in the house with the kids, make sure they were fed, and they didn’t get hurt as they learn about the world. The mothers were in charge of the children and the home in which the children lived.

This reality made it even more difficult (let’s just say “impossible”) for her to be able to leave her husband’s home for even a day to go and visit her original family.

Plus let’s just take a note that diapers did not exist for our great grandparents, and neither did tap water, gas cookers, or electricity. Try to imagine making breakfast under those conditions while have two young children constantly shitting themselves!!!

Point: WOMEN WERE TIED/ GROUNDED IN THE HOMES OF THEIR HUSBAND FOR LIFE.

4.       4. The need to breakaway and form once own “domain”

Finally there was the need for individuals to break away from their parent’s homes and form their own “domains”. This might have been partly due to self-esteem needs, over-crowding problems, and possibly other psychological, hygiene, and economic reasons. But basically the story went that once you hit a certain age, it was a disgrace to be staying with your parent.

Anyone who came back after leaving was a failure. So, again, women had no incentive to go back “home” once they left the nest – they were gone basically for good, and for all practical purposes FOREVER.

Dominance of Men: All these “crippling” factors together with the fact that men are generally physically stronger than women, meant that our great grandmothers were dealt a raw deal by nature. And as such they were doomed to live a life where they were inferior to the men who were basically their protectors and provider. Men, given that they are “operational” 24/7 could do whatever they wanted; operated at 100% every day of the year, fucked women left and right, engaged in fights, et c. Men were empowered and women were crippled.

But is this still the case in 2014???

Fast forward to 2014

We now have cars and tarmac roads, plus mobile phones and Skype/ Viber/ Mpesa/ Facebook, ET c. A married woman can go back and see her father everyday if she so wished!

She could also send her whole salary back “home” if she wished (which many women do). The men can easily be forced to provide for their wives and children, and watch helplessly as their wife Mpesa all her money back to her “original” family.

Women are no longer tied to their husband’s homes, thanks to transport and communication technologies.

Secondly, we have condoms in 2014. THIS MEANS THAT 99% OF SEX IN 2014 IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND NOT PROCREATION.

A woman could (and they do) choose to have sex everyday of her life, but only have one child. And this one child would be born in a hospital under very controlled and hygienic condition – sometimes even while she soundly slept.

The disadvantages of being a woman have basically disappeared thanks to the marvel of MODERN MEDICINE!!!

And as for specialization …. I can tell you first hand that women tend not to listen to what they are told by men. And especially not the 20 something year old women in Nairobi. Women do what they want, even compete with men (I know this from personal experience!). And it is written down in the LAW (which I totally agree with by the way).

A 2014 woman can go “hunt” come back with a kilo of meat, cook it and eat. All without ever differing to the supports and instructions of a man. The man is just an added bonus.

Truth be told, women could in theory exist and develop without men (apart from the occasional sexual intercourse), but men couldn’t possibly exist comfortably without women. You see men are not evolutionarily equipped to take care of the “home” which is where most of the action in 2014 is. And neither are they equipped to birth and take care of young children.

In 2014, the woman is actually in a more advantaged position than the man!!!

Warning: Don’t misunderstand what I am saying. I am not advocating a total rewrite of life, but a reevaluation of the realities in which we exist in relation to the relevance of our behaviors and traditions.

For example: Fucking indiscriminately is still a destructive behavior (psychologically), but the truth is that the consequences of fucking have largely changed. Same for movement, pain, disease, disabilities, knowledge, and power.

So, Dowry:

The need to show appreciation and provide the family of a girl with a “refund” no longer exists. The women can be in constant contact with their parents, like they never left – and the parents can directly benefit from their investments in the form of resources and emotional connection.

Also the need for a man to “show off” and “prove” that he is able to provide is considered to be a PETTY emotional gesture in 2014. All you have to do is “get a job” with a salary and show a pay slip … that’s it. That’s is all the proof that is needed to show ability.

All food is hunted from supermarkets, and all war is waged in office buildings. And both of these domains are accessible to women.

And as for the formation of one’s own “domain” … that is actually a stupid mirage/ illusion, and anyone with half a brain would see it. We may be independent individuals, but in 2014 our destinies are heavily intertwined with the destinies of those around us – most of whom happen to be our relatives. This is due to the increasing “complexity” of world brought about by enlightenment and technology; we can’t build our own houses, phones, electricity, food, clothes, ET c – We need one another to survive.

In 2014, food, clothing and shelter are not the only things to think about. There is also other things like electricity, internet, books, phone bills, insurance, and taxes ET c. All these never existed for our great grandparents.

DOWRY IS NOT ONLY OUTDATED, IT IS ALSO AN IRRELEVANT BURDEN/ RITUAL THAT NOW ONLY EXISTS TO DRAG THE SOCIETY BEHIND.

Keeping the dowry around would be dangerous/ harmful because:

1. It makes men feel entitled/ superior to women – after all, when you pay hard cash you are entitled to do whatever you want with your new acquisition.
2. It gives a dangerous entitlement mentality to parents of girls; where parent of women wait to get money they didn’t work for.
3. It shift the balance of power in a relationship and makes it impossible for women and men to truly be equal.

Dowry is then revealed for what it truly is: AN OUTDATED TRADITION THAT IS A DANGER TO A “CAPITALIST” SOCIETY AND A NATION THAT BELIEVES IN EQUALTY.

On Gayness, and Gay Rights ….in Kenya

(Do gay people have less rights? Are gay people oppressed by society - by being denied the right to marry?)

Normally when issues like these come up, I normally ignore them. This is because most of the time they are just petty tantrums of some attentions seeking, “emotionally undeveloped” individuals. But this issue appears to be different. The Gay community is very organized, has money, and appears to be moving based on a well thought out strategy. At the same time Kenyans seem to be systematically resisting the push from the gay community; a clash is inevitable, and a discussion must be had before war breaks out.

The issue of gayness and gay rights is not going away. We must deal with it squarely, put out a decision in the law books and enforce it. It is the only way to ensure peace and continued focused progress in society. We don’t want a long protracted open argument that leads to a lot of wastage of time, lives and energy. Especially not in Kenya, where the vast majority of the populations are still living in very serious poverty. It is time for some peaceful, honest discussion.

Here goes …

Let me just start by clearly stating that I am a human. And as such I have my personal opinions that color my thoughts and choices. So, before I go far I would like to share with you all my relevant opinions so that you may understand where I come from with the argument that I put forward thereafter:

1.       I believe in individual rights; the rights of the individual must always be respected. A society that puts down individuals for the sake of the masses, is a society that is killing itself – a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. THE INDIVIDUAL IS KING.

2.       I believe in private property and the right of the individual to use his property in whatever way he sees fit. My house is not a communal house; people must knock at the door, and I have the right to choose who I let in and who I keep out. I also have the right to engage in my activities inside my house (and other private property) without outside interference. I should be able to have anal sex in my living room without my neighbor making noise about it. PRIVATE PROPERTY IS THE PROPERTY OF THE KING.

3.       I believe in contracts; two adults of sound mind should be allowed to be able to put together a contract that enables them to work together with proper understanding and guidelines. People should be able to make promises, and they should be held accountable when they don’t follow through – relationships must be built on trust and accountability. CONTRACTS ARE AGREEMENTS BETWEEN KINGS.

4.       I believe in working together (forming a society/community/ country); the individual is the ultimate authority (as per my belief numbered “1”), but the truth of the matter is that the individual has limited powers over nature – he only has two hands, two legs, two eyes, one brain et c. and he can only be in one place at a time. And the biggest limitation of all is that individuals DIE. In light of this, I believe in the power of society to plug these limitations of the individual. The society exists to enable individuals extend their reach; be in more places at the same time and do more things (through specialization), and live for millions of years (through procreation with other individuals). SOCIETIES ARE KINGS WORKING TOGETHER TO BUILD SOMETHING “BIGGER” AND LONG LASTING.

I know there is something you, my dear reader, is already telling yourself – exceptions. Surely there are exceptions? The answer is YES THERE ARE. And they go something like this:

 

1.       Individual rights have completely no exceptions. The individual is KING! - Until he starts to mess with other people rights (THE RIGHTS OF OTHER KINGS). An individual’s rights should only be cut down if that individual is messing with the rights of other individuals. This is because such behaviors leads to war and anarchy, which then leads to a situation where no individual can enjoy any of his rights. So the people who instigate war situations are enemies of everyone, and must be stopped. An individual who doesn’t respect other people’s rights is an enemy of everyone, and people should gang up (using society’s legal system) against such entities.

2.       Private property cannot be used to violate the rights of other people, or prevent other people from achieving their objectives. A man cannot be allowed to have sex with underage girls in his bedroom, even if said girl has consented. The parents of the girl have the right to interfere with this man. Also a man should not be allowed to have sex with sheep or chicken in his house – that is cruelty to animals (a discussion for another day).

3.       Contracts can only be made by two adults of sound mind. Also contracts cannot be made by two people in the pursuit of trampling on other people’s rights – such a contract should be void, and should not be respected.

4.       The society is only important in so far as it helps individuals advance their peaceful agendas. When the society starts to oppress individuals, then the society has lost relevance and it is time for it to be reconfigured by the individuals.

Please note that I am writing this down in one sitting, and in response to a post I saw on Facebook regarding the issue of gay marriages in Kenya. As such I didn’t have the pleasure of thinking about it for too long, otherwise I may have come up with a better “founding premise”. If there are any fallacies in my premises, please point them out (in peace).

Also note that I have no legal background, and I have never read any book about law. So lawyers out there, you may correct me if my founding theories are fundamentally wrong.

On religion and the religious argument …

I also believe in freedom of “religion”, technically. The details of this belief I can discuss later, but the summary of it goes something like this: no single religion can disprove the validity of another/ other religions, so we have a stalemate.

As we proceed I would like to invite all of you to temporarily use purely your brains and the power of logic to reason this out. Let’s not bring gods into this. Because truth be told, neither God nor The Devil are personally available for consultation on this matter. And we as a society must deal with the situation squarely, because so far it seems that it is not going away by itself.

I say this because both The Bible and The Quran (the two biggest religions in Kenya) are firmly against equal rights. Yes, that’s true. In case you didn’t know, they state that women are inferior to men in every conceivable way. But we as Kenyans with our limited intelligence saw it fit to declare that all people have equal right and every individual is equally important (there are no “chosen” people).

People of all tribes, of all races (even descendants of former “white” colonists), all genders (even gays and mixed sex) are all equal. Doesn’t matter if a person worships a cow, a statue, or an invisible “vapor” entity; all Kenyans are equal and have equal rights. Even people with physical disability, or even mental disability – all are equally important.

Now let’s get down to business; Gay Rights …

1.       Equal Rights (The individual is King)

 As I stated earlier, the individual is king. And so his/ her will must always be respected. And true to this ideal, the Kenyan law clearly states that everyone is equal. No gay person, no single one, can claim that they are granted less rights than any other individual in the society. The law even goes further and criminalizes discrimination and oppression of individuals – it is illegal to discriminate, and it is punishable.

Many gay people may want to debate this, but let me put it this way: “black” people were discriminated against in many countries, most prominently U.S.A and South Africa. Black people were denied employment, education, access to public facilities, ET c. They were even subjected to indiscriminate and extrajudicial proceedings and punishments (read killings). They couldn’t vote, and were generally just considered advanced monkeys.

That kind of situation is not true for gay people in Kenya. Gays vote, enter any building they want, hold public office, get employed in any job, ET c. Gay people HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS. Gays are NOT oppressed in Kenya.

So what am saying here is; any argument that states that gay people are seeking some form of equality would be totally fallacious and misleading. This issue has no “equality” dimension. That is already granted by the law.

Self-imposed DISCRIMINATION: I have lived in Kenya for nearly 3 decades (since I was born). During that time, no one (I mean no one) has ever asked me about my sexual orientation. Ever. And I KNOW this is true of everybody. But gay people like to stand on roof tops and declare “I AM GAY, SO DEAL WITH IT!!!”

That’s not very nice!!! It is like the gay people are begging the Kenyans to group them into one little corner and impose special rule on them. Why would they do that?!!

In fact, seeing as I am “straight”, if a man were to walk up to me and tell me he was gay I would immediately put my defenses up – lest he start hitting on me. And this is not discrimination, it is just reality. Ask any beautiful woman who is trying to separate professional and sexual life at work, and they will tell you they struggle with this issue ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. It is not that the woman is discriminating against the men she acts cold towards, she just doesn’t want to talk about getting fucked while she is at work!!! (Excuse my “French”, from here on there will be more coming – so prepare yourself!).

Gay people create the very conditions that come back to bite them. If they continue like this we will soon have to declare our sexual orientation in every single application that we fill. And that would be a very big step backwards for “the rights of the Kings”.

2.       Private Property (The property of the Kings)

 

I might be wrong on this, any lawyer out there can correct me. But as far as I know policemen in Kenya cannot enter a person’s house based on a report that they were having blowjobs, anal sex, or using sex toys.

The laws of Kenya are very respectful of private property. Kenya is in fact a capitalist country, which basically mean Kenya subscribes to the ideal that “the individual is King”.

Gay people cannot claim any downside here either. They can practice their gayness to their hearts content, and the vast majority of Kenyans would never bother with them.

3.       Contracts (Agreements between Kings)

Gay people, like anyone else, can enter into and get out of agreements. Any agreement (allowed by the laws - for everybody).

A gay person can form a company with a fellow gay person, or even with non-gay people, then move assets to that company, and even prescribe obligations and duties of all the partners. I say this because gay people seem to think they can’t co-own things with each other. That is a LIE.

Two gay people can in fact stay together, form a partnership, write a partnership deed, transfer assets to that partnership, and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. If either one of them dies, the assets will be treated in accordance with the agreement in the partnership deed.

Marriage: Now I know at this point gay people are saying “partnership is NOT marriage!!!” Well, they would be right. Marriage is the ONE contract that I know of that the parties involved have no say in the contents of the agreement. It is the ONE contract where the SOCIETY dictates the terms of engagement to the participant. BEWARE when you enter into a marriage (everyone including “straight” people), the terms CAN and WILL change during the course of the life of the agreement. The terms change as the society sees fit, not the participant. So basically marriage can technically be termed as a contract that REDUCES a person’s rights and autonomy, not increase it.

So why is marriage so different, even though it is still just a contract? That brings me to my next point – the society as it relates to the “Kings”

4.       The society (the instrument of extending individual abilities and ensuring “immortality”)

The society, in my opinion, exists for one purpose and one purpose alone – to enhance the reach of the individual members. This is achieved by this thing called SPECIALIZATION.

Specialization: Specialization works in two ways that I can think of; firstly, each individual takes up a specific role in society (mostly intentionally), and tries to fulfill that role to the best of their ability. And if each individual does their job to the required standard you will automatically find that every single person becomes better off than if they were on their own. Some people make clothes, others build houses, others build computers, others clean our houses, and others repair our watches, ET c. It all works together like one big machine, and everybody is better because of it.

Secondly is PROCREATION. By some stroke of bad luck we humans tend to not be immortal – meaning that at some point we end up DEAD, whether we like it or not. The only KNOWN and VERIFIED cure for this big problem is procreation. And by another stroke of “bad luck” we can’t procreate alone – we need a human being who is slightly different from us to achieve it. And therefore another form of specialization is called into action.

Women and men must always work together to propagate their collective genes. And after their off spring are produced, the two participants are joined together for several more years (basically the rest of their lives) taking care of the off springs. That second part (after off springs are produced) is the reason society gets involved in this arrangement.

You see, technically procreation only involved two people. But in reality after the new human being (the child) is produced, the male participants normally tend to take off and leave the woman to shoulder the burden alone. As a result the child might grow up missing certain facilities e.g. money and resources, different guidance perspective, identity creation ET c, and by extension the woman’s family and the whole society might end up suffering as a whole in the long term.

That whole story is in addition to the fact that procreation is something that happens almost every second – the problem, if left unchecked, can quickly get out of hand!!!

So society invented a special contract to handle the procreation scenario. This contract was designed to fulfill among other things:

-          Protect the woman in the relationship from being left with children alone. You see women are the one who get to carry the child in their wombs for nine months (during which time they are severely limited in what they can do). Nature has also given women breasts, meaning for the first part of a child’s existence the woman is its only source of food. Put simply; the woman has a burden, and the man MUST be made to stick around to help out.

-          Protect the rights of the woman. If the woman had to abandon her livelihood in order to procreate with a man, then it is only logical that she owns half of whatever the man brings in while she is busy taking care of their children. This gives her the sense of security that is required to enable her specialize properly and focus on the task at hand.

-          Provide a stable economic and emotional environment for the bringing up of high quality (mentally) children. Children have genes from two sources. As such they have to come to terms with the two halves that make them up. The way to do this is by observing both halves in close proximity. This is a process of identity creation, which is very important of building Kings with self-esteem. In addition, having multiple perspectives to help build ones ideas from is very helpful. All in all, it is better for the child if both sources of genes are around is some form, and society in general seems to know this.

-          To some extent, another function of the contract is to tie and LIMIT the parties in a venture that ensures they can procreate repeatedly with one another without fearing that they will have to look for another person to procreate with. You see, society is a lot more neat and ORDERLY when multiple children are produced by two people than when people jump from one partner to another and a complex web of parents-off spring network forms. Children make easier sense of things when they share the same parents – who happen to be one ale and one female.

Marriage is then revealed for what it really is – a special contract for the guaranteed continued existence of a society and the individuals in it. MARRIAGE IS A SELF PRESERVATION MECHANISM. And this is the reason why society gets involved – it is too sensitive to gamble with, or else everybody ends up dead.

In that whole picture I have not mentioned gayness, and for good reason – GAYNESS DOES NOT FIT INTO THAT PICTURE. In fact if a society allowed gay marriage it would essentially be committing suicide. Do you want the society in which you live to end up dead? Maybe you do, but the rest of the people may not agree – and there you have the basic foundation for the resistance that gay people have been experiencing.

The gay people are committing genetic suicide, but the rest of society is refusing to go down with them. And for good reason: A SOCIETY LIKE KENYA IS LIBERAL ENOUGH TO ALLOW INDIVIDUALS TO GO ABOUT THEIR BUSINESSES WITHOUT INTERFERENCE. WHY WOULD A SMALL, TINY GROUP DEMAND OF THE WHOLE COUNTRY TO CHANGE AN INSTRUMENT OF ITS OWN SURVIVAL AND THEREBY COMMIT COLLECTIVE SUICIDE? It is just plain selfishness. Actually no. It goes beyond selfishness; what would you call the act of attempting to force someone else to commit suicide with you? That’s what it is …

 Allowing gay marriages would not add any value to a gay person’s life, but it would fundamentally alter the society to the extent that it will immediately start to decline. This can easily be observed in the numerous countries that have already legalized gay marriages; divorce rates are high because people don’t take marriage seriously, and population number have all but stopped because procreation is not taken seriously.

Over population: Some political strategists would argue that population numbers need to be checked. And what better way to make society to control itself than by planting a “Trojan horse” in its legal system that would automatically curb population growth!!! ALL ACTIONS START WITH AN IDEA, AND THE LAWS OF A SOCIETY ARE THE IDEAS THAT GUIDE ITS ACTIONS.  ALL ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. It all seems like a nice little strategy to control population, but so was the invention of HIV/ AIDS – that little bug wiped out huge chunks of the African population! (Personally, a significant proportion of my extended family is affected). And for what??? Most of the time it is the very best among the population that gets taken out – this is because the very best are the ones that tend to experiment a lot and live on the “edge”. A society that uses such tactics to control its population ends up killing all its leader and “alpha” individuals. (That is actually a compliment to the gay community!). There exist better ways to handle the population problems (which is a discussion for another day).

What gays really want is the permission to engage in “unnatural acts”, and more importantly rub it in people’s faces.

Unnatural acts: Gayness exist even in animals. And the cause and purpose of its existence vary widely. In humans it is, in my opinion, primarily for pleasure and emotional crutch of the participants. No other proper function can be defined.

Blow jobs, anal sex, sex toys, prostitution, masturbation ET c have one thing in common; they are designed as a genital massage whose objective is deriving pleasure. Normally these acts are supposed to be done in private (just like any other “hobby”). But when a group of individual insists on bringing their “business” into the public domain, then they should not complain when the public starts to meddle in the private affairs – after all they invited the public in!!!

Heterosexual sex is also a private affair. The participant derive pleasure from the activity (privately), but deep down they know that the act has the potential to produce offspring and the pleasure is just a side effect – for motivation. Putting the pleasure front and center, though it happens often, is actually very misguided and a sign that a person doesn’t understand what they are doing.

This is the reason why a man marries a woman, but a man doesn’t marry his hand, or his sex toy, or the prostitutes/ sluts that he sleeps with, or even the other man who provides him with a rectum to rub his penis in … it’s all hidden in the fine print! Just think for a second.

5.       Love and Friendship (Do we have a choice who we are attracted to?)

So gays tell us that they have no control over who the love, and that love conquers all. How romantic!!! Except it’s all a pile of emotional garbage! Why do I use such strong word? Because it is not fun having to deal with someone else’s emotional baggage – when you have your own to deal with.

Here’s the thing: people in fact have control of the people they are attracted to. And the few who don’t are normally TROUBLE MAKERS who end up getting PUNISHED by society at some point.

Ask any married heterosexual, he/ she will tell you that they have become sexually aroused by multiple people in their lifetime – almost daily. But their BETTER JUDGEMENT and sense of INHIBITION enables them to control that impulse and stick to the contract that they signed. HUMANS CANNOT ALLOW THEMSELVES TO FOLLOW EVERY SINGLE STRONG EMOTIONAL IMPULSE THAT THEY FEEL – better judgment MUST be used as a filter to know which ones to act on.

Secondly just because someone fascinates you, has the same interests as you, works with you daily, and appears to be very attractive, doesn’t mean that you have to have sex with them and marry them!

Friendship: My longest relationships are with people of the same gender as myself. Friend I met while I was in high school. These people share the same behavior traits as myself, or if they don’t their traits are very fascinating to me and compliment my traits. I feel quite good when am around these people, we engage in various social activities together, share ideas and protect each other’s’ interests. It’s all very warm and cozy, but in the end I got a lady and tied myself to her – not to the guys. Fact is, even though I spend most of my days with people of my gender – most of whom I like, even love – I choose to have sex with the woman I picked. (It helps that she is beautiful and smart!).

Why don’t I just have sex with all this attractive men that I meet every day? Why didn’t I have sex with all my high school friends? As a matter of fact, why don’t I have sex with my mother??? I love all these people, and to some extent am sexually attracted to them. Why, why, why. The answer is simple: BETTER JUDGEMENT!

I am one of the few men who can admit that sexual attraction does in fact exist all around us – among men, among women, and across the genders. In fact to some extent I can say I also love my computer (I have been around it twice as long as I have been around my spouse – 7yrs). Love is not the basis for marriage or sex – it is a primary and required ingredient, but not the basis. The foundation for marriage is a mix of things starting with a compatibility to procreate. FOR ALL THE REST OF THE RELATIONSHIP, WE HAVE FRIENDSHIP AND COMPANIONSHIP.

Marriage is not “permission to have sex”, “permission to cohabit”, “permission to love one another”, ET c. Any grown person who need a piece of paper to do those things is just NOT SERIOUS!!!

(At this level I assume you can remember what the true purpose of marriage is, as per my definition. Keep it in mind as we proceed)

High schools in Kenya: High schools in Kenya tend to be boarding and also tend to be same gender. 99% of my friends went through such institutions. Just think what would happen if the “kids” in these institutions thought it was okay to massage their penises in each other’s rectums!!! The whole system would fall apart! IT ALL STARTS WITH AN IDEA.

WE ARE ALL CAPABLE OF FORMING STONG BONDS AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEMBERS OF BOTH GENDERS. LOVE IS NOT GENDER SPECIFIC, BUT MARRIAGE IS.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

The legal system: I have watched many legal T.V. shows in Kenya, and I have noticed a few things about legal proceedings. Lawyers use precedents and past judgments to advance their current agendas. They also use “logical connections” to defend their clients. It goes some like this, “if this is legal, then by extension that is legal too …”

Technically making gay marriages legal would have very little effect in the society in the short term. But in the long term who knows what connections lawyers will make based on gay marriages. I am a computer technician at the moment, and I can tell you this; very soon we are going to have very advanced computer programs running around the world. Advanced enough to be nearly indistinguishable from a human during conversation/ communication. I can already imagine the kind of argument a lawyer would put forward for a man who is excessively attached to his computer!

Legalizing gay marriages does in fact reinvent marriage as an institution, because it rethinks its entire purpose. It shifts the objective from “being for the kids” to “being for the pleasure/ emotional crutch needs of adults”. Is that what we want?

But here is a funny thought: MARRIAGE IS JUST A NAME OF A CONTRACT. Contracts can be named anything. If the gay lobby ends up succeeding (and they might since Kenyan politicians are very selfish and money oriented – and gays appear to be ready to spend), then society will start to immediately RE-EVOLVE. Like I said earlier, if society becomes unfit for helping its member advance their agendas, then a renegotiation normally happens and the society gets rebuilt from “scratch”.

If gay marriage become legal, lawyers will start to re-categorize the various “types” of marriage. This will enable them to separate the one where kids are involved from the ones that are just a game for some adults. Before you know it “marriage” would just be a form of “roommate-friendship” and the true marriage would be given another name. Bottom line, the gay lobby would be right where they started!!!

It is a fact, male-female union IS different from male-male, and is also different from female-female. THEY ARE NOT EQUAL, despite any wishful thinking we may have.

BOTTOM-LINE: Gay marriages should be made clearly ILLEGAL so that this whole debate can end and we get back to the business of building our “third world” country!!!

I can’t believe gays just made me spend almost 10hrs typing this thing!!!